Pin the Tail on the Culture
Who Is This Lady?
This is the main female character in our comedy video products. The main male lead is pictured as well. This website highlights the talented people who have participated in several videos that we have developed. We hope to develop a TV show in the future.
What Kind of Videos?
We have created 5 Bootylicious exercise videos, and 7 Bootylicious comedy videos. As clips from these comedy pieces have a variety of lengths, portions of the videos will be adapted for mobile phone video, video iPods, video podcasting, vlogs, broadband networks, other portable device downloads, and all manner of new media distribution methods.
What Are These Videos About?
If you like what you see on this page, you might get the idea that we are developing something completely different, something special. We are. Our comedy videos feature the two actors you see here. They include numerous hysterical antics, dozens of incredible impressions that will amaze you-and highlight extensively the actors' considerable talents. The comedy is our own style with some flavoring that will remind you of the irascible Benny Hill. We all miss Benny, and it's time that we all had a new opportunity to enjoy some hysterical, edgy, yet innocent and adorable slapstick. Our exercise videos feature four different Bootylicious females who exercise to nice music and never tell you what to do. You just watch and follow along.
I Like What I See. Where Can I Buy This Stuff?
The comedy products are at http://www.comedydvds.info and the exercise video DVDs are at http://www.fannyandtheassets.com. But please tell us about your interest in buying the rights to license these comedies. Please email us at our presales address above if you are interested in purchasing licensing deals.
Why Aren't You Mass Marketing Them Right Now? Who Sells Them?
We're Looking For An "Angel."
Since we are developers, we are looking for someone who, via his/her experience in an established company will take on this valuable product line and bring these videos/DVDs to market. WE DON'T NEED MONEY OR INVESTORS AT THIS TIME. (But hey, we won't turn you down.) You (as our "Angel") will be responsible for developing distribution channels for our DVDs and will present our 30-minute TV show idea (with plenty of demo footage) to networks. You'll represent our products to the media, go on talk shows, get interviewed, make the deals, etc. In general, your company will take on the products we have developed and add them to your current product line. And we will work with you to develop more of this type of entertainment. Note: Our actors are available for live media appearances.
What Else Do You Want The Angel To Do?
The Angel will represent and present our products, not our company. You would represent YOUR COMPANY (we'll call it XYZ), and XYZ will be the producer (or executive producer) of these products. Pin the Tail on the Culture will merely be the creators, continue to put together crew and talent (as appropriate), and manage future shooting and editing. Sales, distribution and other representation of the products to the marketplace will be XYZ's responsibility. Pin the Tail on the Culture desires to remain creators, writers, and editors and will participate in whatever creative capacity will work best in the future. XYZ and the actors will get lots of fame and publicity.
Why Don't We Do This Ourselves?
There are many reasons. We prefer to do what we do best: creating great content. We dislike schmoozing, interviews, marketing, and spreading ourselves too thin. We value privacy, as a company and as individuals. We want zero publicity focused in our direction, as it would distract from our ability to keep creating. We are basically introverts as opposed to extroverts, and would feel that publicity for us as individuals or a company would be not only a counterproductive distraction but also an intrusive invasion. It's not our style. We have enough experience to know that if Pin the Tail on the Culture stops focusing on creating, we'd lose our edge, not for lack of ability, but for lack of time and focus. We also do not like airplanes and are unwilling to travel. We prefer to leave that up to you (our Angel), while we stay where we are and keep creating new content.
Are We Stupid?
Are we too dumb to find the distributors and network people and talk business? Not at all. But we decided at the onset that when it came time to represent the products and ideas to video distributors and networks, we wouldn't settle for anything less than a person and company with a successful track record in moving products into broadcast (or cable) or video distribution, and preferably both. Why reinvent the wheel? A successful executive producer (the Angel we seek) already has connections, experience and knows how to work in the industry.
Why Didn't You Do This In The Usual Hollywood Way?
We know that the usual way is to pitch the idea, get a network or producer to fund a pilot or a few episodes, associated videos, sell the advertisers, etc. Why not do it this way? Because the general concept is in some ways simple enough that it would be easy for someone to hear it, and run off with it (leaving us out of the picture, of course). They wouldn't be able to do it justice nor could they come up with the edgy writing that our writer can. No one has seen anything like this in many years. We decided to start by creating something tangible so those interested could really see in action what we have. Even more important, no one has to cough up dough to create our first 11 to 13 products!
What Else Is There For The Angel To Do?
It will be the responsibility of XYZ to properly handle rights clearances. This should be easy because of XYZ's already existing expertise, savvy, and experience. We do not have, nor do we wish to have, such knowledge, although we have been vigilant in development to avoid all copyrighted visuals. As the Producer, if XYZ fails to get it right and there's litigation over a missed corporate logo or some such thing that hasn't been cleared, it will be XYZ in court defending its position and even XYZ's insurance paying the judgement if XYZ loses, not Pin the Tail on the Culture. This should present no problem to XYZ if XYZ is knowledgeable and experienced in this area. XYZ will proactively deal with all rights clearance issues before the footage ever hits the market, or before getting to the strict gatekeepers of the network/cable broadcasters who want all E&O (errors and omissions) ducks in a row. We have done our very best to have our material be "clearance ready," but don't claim any expertise in this area. The 5 exercise videos are an instant clearance, as they're just ladies exercising with no logos in backgrounds or on clothing—we're so unconcerned with these we've already gone online (late June 2006) to sell them. An on-camera speech that's included in each of the five exercise videos mentions no companies by name, but does mention several books that are great self-esteem boosters, without using any excerpts. Our counsel assures us that this type of approach is no problem—a rights clearance non-issue. The comedies have parodies of various known people, shows and companies. We’ve been advised that short parody clips—especially when they're as nutty as ours—are protected as Fair Use. (We have our entertainment lawyer's legal research in computer files and as printouts to back this.) In 3 or 4 places where our parody dialog includes a slightly questionable usage of a corporate name, we shot it 2 ways, using the corporate names and as well as with generic references that are nonproblematic. So XYZ can decide which clip to use based on XYZ’s expertise. We'll point out these iffy dialogues, of course. Other clearance issues are referred to later on this page.
Who Pays For What?
Marketing, clearance, E&O, licensing and other costs associated with distribution, sales, and marketing will XYZ's expenses. We suggest that it would be highly lucrative to experiment with buying ads on the Comedy Network at certain times, e.g. when the other ads for videos have been shown at their highest frequency.
What Is The Point Of These Products?
We're aware of the fact that it's likely you nearly abandoned this page the second you saw the rear end on the main character in our comedies, whose picture graces this page. It's not as though you didn't "like" it, as she's obviously a gorgeous lady. You have continued to read this much out of curiosity anyway. Good for you! (Hopefully it means you have a mind of your own and you don't let the latest fad dictate your thoughts or behavior.) You're also probably rather tired and bored of the Hollyweird trend toward scrawny fashion models with too much makeup and skinny little boy butts. The vast majority of female stars on the big screen and the boob tube are skinny fashion model types. They get skinnier and more unhealthy-looking every year.
So You Have An Agenda, A Message? That's a NO-NO in Hollywood. People Just Want Good Entertainment. Hollywood Just Wants A Show That Will Gets Lots of Market Share...
We know better than to moralize to TV audiences or to Hollywood execs. However, we have created entertainment more unique than anything you're seeing on TV today that, at the same time, sends an important message without being obvious about it. We'll be opposing the current unhealthy trend of "scrawny is the only acceptable type of female body" and we'll be supporting the idea that "healthy females have shape, curves, and a reasonable amount of body fat." We wish to stop the 1000-plus needless deaths a year from eating disorder sufferers who tried so hard to be skinny models that they died. We plan to create in video and for broadcast (or cable) a more realistic, healthy, and possible body role model for girls and women to emulate and imitate, and to end the "body fat is evil" campaign once and for all. (Please notice that the body fat on the women pictured on this page makes them pretty and voluptuous and they look MUCH BETTER than scrawny fashion model types, NOT WORSE!) We wish to give people choices about what they see on TV, and our type of female body role model is the new choice. Now, Hollywood execs are always saying: "Show me something completely different." We've got it both in what you see and the entertainment that goes with it. We're all extremely tired of all the also-rans and copycat shows. With all the networks and thousands of shows every year, you'd think there'd be some true variety, some real choices. Now there will be.
Isn't This Just A New Kind Of Eye Candy?
Yes, we have beautiful women. Our products and our TV show both emphasize generous backsides; such backsides were a prerequisite in our extensive talent search. This type of body helps us disprove the faddish belief that scrawny fashion model bodies look best. You've seen the leading lady, the blond lady whose pictures you've already checked out on this page. This emphasis on backsides is the central metaphor of our shows and videos. Generous backsides symbolize (1) a healthier female body role model, (2) us pointing out Hollywood hypocrisy, (3) advocacy for eating disorder sufferers, and (4) our attempt to halt the "body fat = evil" campaign of the mass media, the dieting industry, the exercise equipment industry, and the pharmaceutical industry-which has led to untold amounts of misery, deaths, oppression, and psychological pain mostly in women and girls in the past 20 years.
We Believe TV Can Be Entertaining AND Decent
We have defined our own decency standards: Absolutely NO: nudity, blurred nudity, nasty words, bleeped nasty words, sex, simulated sex, or violence. Specifically, the jiggling of a rear end is fine as long as there is at least a thong on it. Shower scenes are okay IF at least a top and a thong are worn. Words: the most risque we get: ass, fart, poop, butt, tush. ALL networks find these acceptable; and we aren’t prudes.
What Does XYZ Company Get?
You are joining the enterprise as a leading, yet independent force to take our developed products to market. Your costs of doing business are your own. Pin the Tail on the Culture won't be paying you for your services or expenses. But you will get a nice piece of the pie when you succeed in the marketplace with this product line. If you're not already successful enough to cover your own expenses, then you're not the right person or company to be part of this. But if you turn out to be the right company, you will get a healthy percent of the income you create from finding video distribution deals, broadcast (or cable) deals, merchandising, etc. To be blunt, if you fail with both distributors and networks, you get nothing. If you do well with the products, you'll be getting a healthy percent of the action. Our investor has already taken a risk and spent money. Our director, editor, and writer, as well as company President, will be getting back end cuts for their compensation, as they really believe in the project and feel it's bound to sell. And we hope XYZ will feel the same. If XYZ and you as executive producer/representative are good and capable, you'll find these terms very attractive. If you're one of the thousands (reportedly) of pretenders, wannabes, or even scammers out there, you'll try to sell us a song and dance about why we need to pay you up front and/or cover your expenses. Don't bother to respond if you're one of these.
Who Are You? Pin the Tail on the Culture is an Oregon company that has come up with leading edge comedy writing, new and talented actors with special assets, editors, President, manager and several associates whom we have worked with for several months of filming.
What Do You Need to Know About Me and My Company?
PREREQUISITES: You must have a successful track record in selling to either video distributors or broadcasters (or cable), preferably both. Please contact us by email and tell us about yourself, your experience, successes, et al. Please zip any attachments you'd like to include. Your main Pin the Tail on the Culture contact will be Michelle Taylor.
We have 5 edited exercise videos and 7 edited comedy videos.
We're trying our luck at getting exercise video sales on our Fanny and the Assets site (http://www.fannyandtheassets.com), and the comedy products are at http://comedydvds.info. The various DVDs have no commercial packaging, so if the Angel takes these on, he'd create packaging with his own logo and look. We'd like the Angel to sell both our comedy and exercise DVDs by non-web-related distribution methods as well as adding them to the Angel's online products—but we can still make a deal with the Angel if he only takes on the comedies and passes on the exercise videos.
The comedy products may contain a few minor clearance issues, but not about short parody bits, since that's a Fair Use if not used in an advertising context (we got our entertainment attorney to do the legal research). The issues are about artwork on walls in a few places, the mention of real TV shows by name, etc.—all minor issues but enough of a concern to keep us too timid/paranoid to produce or distribute these 7 comedies. We ourselves have cleared 3 props and an artwork, and we know where our other potential issues are in our products.
Each exercise video has approximately 40 minutes of exercise and includes two 20-minute routines. Users can exercise 20 minutes to either routine or 40 minutes to both. Each product also includes words to encourage self-esteem, body acceptance and realistic goals of exercise, but these are BEFORE the exercise starts.
Each comedy video will be around 77 minutes not counting previews of other stuff.
APPEAL: Mass appeal and niche appeal.
DISTRIBUTION: 12 DVD products to put into standard comedy video and exercise video distribution channels along with website sales, Vlogs, video podcasts and other Internet distribution venues. And we hope that eventually there will be a 30-minute broadcast or cable TV comedy series.
What Else Do We Have?
We have a 2-DVD product of video backgrounds and photos (http://fannyandtheassets.com/videobackgroundsphotos/index.html) we're selling online and a beautiful walking clips site (http://www.poetryinmotion.info) as well, and we may make a ladies walking beautifully DVD product in a year or less if the clip site sends enough yummy footage our way. We're not seeking help with either of these two products but are open to hearing ideas or proposals.
CONTACT: Michelle Taylor at our presales address above if interested.
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